A & P

So, it's three O-clock and I'm six hours into a Sunday shift here at the A & P, and about to fall asleep. I'm on register two and Sammy is on three checking out one of the local matriarchs, when these three teeni-boppers walk in wearing nothing but their swim suits. Sammy spots them, stops dead, and losses track of his check-out, but the matriarch is watching and jump on him for charging her twice for something, and he has to smooths her feathers for the double ring. I have to bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud. He tries to act cool, and calms the old battle-ax down, but he still can't quit staring at the trio of teen queens working their way toward us. He's nineteen and these gals are a year or two younger than him, but you just don't see girls of any age in here wearing nothing but their swim suits. They remind me of the Goldi-locks story; one is a little to tall and thin, although in a couple of years shes going to be a knockout, one is a little to short and heavy, but in a cute round bottomed teeni-bopper way, and one, well she is just right. This gal is the ring leader, you can tell. She has her straps off her shoulders, and walks ahead of the other two with her head up and her shoulders back like she goes shopping in a swimsuit all the time, you can tell she's used to being the center of attention. She's a sun bleached strawberry blonde, not to tall, not to short, that looks and is built a little like Grace Kelly.

I realize he sees that I'm staring too, so I lean toward Sammy and say "Oh daddy, I feel so faint." He gives me a look and hams it up with a "Darling, hold me tight" like it's a joke but I can tell he's more than interested. As they turn away, and head up the pet food Isle I can't see them any more but Sammy is locked on target, I whisper loud enough for him to hear, "Is it done?" but he never looks away. We have that new air conditioning and it's cool in here; but there's a little sweat on his upper lip and I can tell he's hooked hard. Hell, I'm three years older than Sammy, with a wife and two kids and all I'm thinking about right now are those two little crescents of white skin at the top of her suit where it has slid down an inch and a half without the aid of those shoulder straps that bounce ever so slightly with every regal-barefooted step she takes.

I really can't blame him for checking out mentally, he's stuck in this store working a job his folks arranged with that goody-two-shoes Lengel, instead if hanging out chasing girls and getting into trouble with his buddies he graduated with last June. I mean look at me, I'm stuck here in a job that was supposed to just be for a while; until a good job came along. Then my girlfriend Lacy got pregnant and suddenly I'm married and a dad; and the regular paycheck and the employee discount have me trapped. Now I am the "senior" checker praying for the day that stiff Lengel retires or dies so I can be the store manager and get that raise to $3.25 an hour with benefits.

Anyway, a few minutes later, I'm ringing up one of the local house frau's, dressed in sweats, with her hair up in pin curlers covered with one of those see-through hair nets with the flowers printed on it, as if that makes her look okay to be out in public, when the teeni-boppers walk up to Sammy's check stand and Grace Kelly hands Sammy a 6 oz. jar of pickled herring in sour cream. Sammy is almost dumb-struck, but manages to ring it up and ask Grace for the 49 cents, and wait for it, she pulls a folded dollar bill out from the hollow between those glistening white crescents at the top of her suit and hands it to Sammy. I swear I hear him let out a little groan, he's a goner, she had him hook, line, and sinker.

This is where the story gets fun, Lengel has been outside haggling with the produce delivery driver, something about cabbages. Well he walks in and almost makes it to the office that represents my future, when he notices the girls with their bare feet and swim suits and without a seconds hesitation walks over and starts scolding them about how they're dressed in front of everyone in the store, like some dutch uncle. At first the girls are embarrassed, but it doesn't take a second for Grace Kelly to remember her status as queen bee and she starts to, not really argue with Lengel, so much as defend herself, saying she only had to get one thing for her mom, and she wasn't really shopping. Lengel, the Sunday school teaching, over starched, buttoned down, stick in the mud, he is, is not going to take any back talk from young girls with bare shoulders. He has to keep this fine establishment a decent place for the middle aged ladies in curlers and sweat suits, so he puts her in her place, but good. Next thing you know the girls are half way to the door and I hear Sammy say "I quit" Just loud enough for me, Lengel, and the girls to hear. Lengel doesn't flinch, he's watching the girls retreat out the door without looking back, with his arms crossed like the sole defender of virtue. When the door closes behind them he turn to their would be knight in shining armor, and asks Sammy if he said something. I half expected Sammy to back down, but in a small voice he repeats it, "I said I quit." Lengel snaps "I thought you did," what a square. I can tell Sammy is mad, the way he stands up to Lengel in front of me and the customers who are fidgeting and looking really uncomfortable, and calm as can be, he tells Lengel "You didn't have to embarrass them,"and Lengel comes back with a lame "It was they who embarrassed us," like he had some secret knowledge of everyone's feelings, sheesh. Sammy gives Lengel a look and says "Fiddle-de-doo." It sounded like something my grand-ma would say; but somehow it was the perfect come back.

Now Lengel is feeling the eyes on him and tries to make nice to Sammy and in his most fatherly tone tells Sammy something like "I don't think you know what your saying." Sammy isn't about to let him off the hook and as he is taking his apron off he lays a "I know you don't, but I do," on Lengel and starts to walk out. Lengel is close friends with Sammy's folks and he knows this will make problems for them all, so he tries again "Sammy, you don't want to do this to your Mom and Dad" Sammy just keeps walking. Lengel half yells "You'll feel this for the rest of your life" at Sammy's back as he's walking out. Of course I have to act like nothing has happened, but I am so proud of Sammy I could have kissed him.

A stiff and angry Lengel takes Sammy's place at the register and started ringing up groceries like this was just another day at the A & P, and when the last of the customer/witnesses are gone, he retreats to my future office.