Snake! (a five minite story)

When I was 10 years old, my grandparents on my mothers side lived in Madras, Ore. It was a

three hour drive so we always stayed at least two or three days, and it was common for one or

more of my aunts and uncles to schedule co-visits so we could all get together. There was about

12 of us cousins, and we played real well together, so these visits were something us kids looked

forward to.

Madras sits on the east side of Mt. Hood where the foot hills level out into the high desert of

eastern Ore., it's sagebrush country with a nice mix of juniper trees scattered across rolling

hills. My grandparents lived a few miles out of town and there was no limit to adventures we

could find. The was wild life all around and I loved to explore, this was as good as my life got at

this age.

My grandpa Jack was great, he was tall, thin, kind, had an incredible knowledge of the natural

world and was amazingly patient; when 12 kids between 2 and 15 descended on his home.

Grandpa's hobby was rock cutting and polishing; and the family had bought him the biggest, best
rock saw they could find for him when he retired. He would often load the older cousins (say 8

and older) up in his old Chevy pick-up and drive us out into the desert and take us rock

hounding. The desert around Madras was littered with agates, obsidian, jasper, chert, petrified

wood, and the occasional arrowhead (I once found a piece of agate that weighed 26 Lbs. that

grandpa cut into slices the size of dinner plates).

On one such trip, late in April or early may, the weather was warm and the oldest cousins got to

sit in the back of the pick-up, how fun is that, we all swapped stories and took turns teasing each

other. We had been traveling down a dirt road (no gravel) about 35 MPH for about 10-15

minites on the way to one of grandpa's favored spots when he suddenly swerved back and forth

and slammed on the brakes. We all went sliding and slammed into the bang-board behind the

cab. He jumped out of the cab with a worried look on his face (as he should have after bruising 7

of his grand kids at once) and hurried right passed us back up the road. We all were asking what

was wrong at the same time and grandpa shouted over his shoulder "I think I ran over a

snake!" (Grandpa loved all living things and especially reptiles). I was a 10 year old boy and I

positively loved reptiles. I would catch the same half dozen blue-bellied fence lizards that lived in

grandpa's rock wall, every time I visited. I scanned back up the road and there was the biggest

snake I had ever seen, stretched out across the road. If granddad hadn't run it over he had done

a pretty nifty job of straddling it. I jumped out of the back of that pick-up and caught up to and

passed grandpa, and had that snake in my hands before grandpa and the rest of the cousins

could get close. I turned around with a huge smile on my face and half out of breath, asked "is it

a rattlesnake grandpa?" For the first time in my life, I saw my grandpa angry. He leveled a look

at me that would stay with me for 40 years and in a voice that scared me with it's even timbre

said "you always ask that question, before you pick up the snake Richard." My cousins never get

tired of telling me about the look on my face as the implications settled in. The snake was a 5 ft.

long bull snake that had just shed it skin, it was glossy and beautiful. We all took turns holding it

and asking questions while grandpa told us everything he knew about bull snakes; which was

considerable. When he thought the snake had had all the attention it could stand he made us

walk it out into the sagebrush away from the road and let it go. I don't remember if we found

any agates.

Check it out!

Hey Bob, com'er, you got to see this. Just a minute Jeff I need to finish this work-order. No,

seriously you gotta see this man. What is it Jeff? I'm kinda busy here. Dude, that hot red-head

you were helping a few minutes ago dropped her cell phone, and well, I thought I would check to

see if I could find her number to let her know, and I was just kinda look'n through her video files

and there are these shots of her and some guy, and dude, they are totally do'n it. Don't mess

with me Jeff, I have work to do. Check it out! Am I lying? Wow, no you're not, now that

chick is my kind'a freak. You'd better give that to me Jeff, your not old enough to be look'n at

stuff like that. No way Bob, finders keepers man. Fine, genius, but if the boss finds out you've

been scoping out a customer's personal info, you're history; he is one straight arrow.

Daaamm, your right man, he'd totally blow a gasket. So, what are you gonna do now junior,

find the chick and give it back to her, keep it to show your buds at school, try to sell the video to

one of those on-line porn sites? Slow down Bob, I need to think. You'd better figure it out before

she comes back look'n to see if she left it here and finds you slobbering over it. Oh shit, your

right. I can't give it back to her now! One look at her and stupid grin on my face is gonna give me
away, she's gonna know I was check'n it out. Yeah, that's one drawback of being seventeen, your

face is pretty much an open book, and watch you language here on the floor man, customers,

remember. Sorry, oh man, this realy sucks Bob, if she figures out I've been check'n out her

stuff and complains to the boss, I'm screwed; he's gonna cann me for sure. What do I do? I need

this job! True story pup, I'll tell you what your going to do, give the phone to me and I'll take

care of it for you. What are you gonna do with it? Jeff, you're a good kid, but you really can't

keep a secret, it's probably best if you don't know. Lets just say I'll find a way to get it back to

her and keep your name out of it. So, what do you say, are you going to lose your job or let me

bail you out? Your right as usual dude, thanks, here, take it. Por nada son, that's what friends

are for, but you owe me one.

Hello, hey Babe...Slow down, relax! I've got it, you dropped it here in the store...No, that kid Jeff

found it...Yah, but he saw the video...Oh yah, he got an eyefull...No, it wasn't too hard to talk him

out of it, candy from a baby...No, he doesn't have a clue I was the camera man. I don't think it

even dawned on him someone had to be holding the phone...No, no worries...Oh, I'm sure he'll be
tell'n his friends about it, but I convinced him if the boss finds out he snooped, he'll lose his

job; besides he doesn't know who you are...No, he didn't put us together, he thought you were

in here buying something... okay, see ya tonight, and we can post this clip on our web sight, and

Babe, try to be more careful with the phone; we don't make any money if these videos end up on
Youtube.

Behind Blue Eyes

This is one of my favorite songs, written by Pete Townson of the "Who"

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies
But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
No one knows what it's like To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through
But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile,
tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool
If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

I always thought he was describing the life of a politician.